Resource Sample for Our Christian Parenting Tips with Dr. Scott Turansky Parent Resource
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Consistency in Parenting Has Been Given Too Much Value
Most parenting books talk about the value of consistency. And, if you’re using behavior modification to mold your child’s behavior you had better be as consistent as possible. But a heart-based approach relies on different tools to bring about change in a person, and consistency takes a lesser role.
Behavior modification is a system of changing behavior that was recognized as a science in the early 1900s with Pavlov and his dogs. Pavlov realized that he could teach a dog to salivate by consistently ringing a bell when providing food so that even when the food wasn’t present, the dog would salivate. It was an amazing discovery that quickly made reward/punishment models the standard for smoking cessation programs, weight loss training, and job performance.
Many parenting strategies today emphasize reward and punishment to create an external environment that will maximize change. And it works for the short term. But as kids get older, they start asking the wrong questions in life such as, “What’s in it for me?”, “Are you going to pay me for that?”, and “What’s the minimum I need to do to get the reward?”
